Zantifgem is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, loving crab.

Zantifgem created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zantifgem, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zantifgem, it will turn you into a frog.

Zantifgem's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Zantifgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill grasshopers.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not speak about aubergines.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not covet oxen.