Lunbomfen is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful cow.

Lunbomfen created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lunbomfen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lunbomfen, she will turn you into a frog.

Lunbomfen's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Lunbomfen's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not eat lemons.

4. Never feed cucumbers to bats while wearing boots.

5. Never talk about gravity near snakes while wearing black shirts and balancing three aluminium spheres on your hands.