Arfappgen is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciless owl.

Arfappgen created an electron four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfappgen, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Arfappgen, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Arfappgen's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Arfappgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never feed bread to shrews while wearing indigo coats.

3. Retreat if nine monkeys approach from the north.

4. You must pray to Arfappgen eight times a day.

5. Never talk about cell theory.