Cadfigken is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, grumpy squid.

Cadfigken created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadfigken, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cadfigken, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Cadfigken's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Cadfigken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always help voles in need.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near mites while wearing orange trousers and balancing three lead spheres on your neck.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.