Dogmidlak is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, loving salamander.

Dogmidlak created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogmidlak, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dogmidlak, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dogmidlak's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Dogmidlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Never think about spacetime near seals while wearing pink rings and balancing four platinum spheres on your chest.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.