Poplimfud Vagnangid is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, weak giraffe.

Poplimfud Vagnangid created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Poplimfud Vagnangid, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Poplimfud Vagnangid, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Poplimfud Vagnangid's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Poplimfud Vagnangid's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow sharks for they are unholy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always help badgers in need.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Put Poplimfud Vagnangid first in all things.