Cusscappinyarpzagrutt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, capable squid.

Cusscappinyarpzagrutt created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Cusscappinyarpzagrutt, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cusscappinyarpzagrutt, it will not invite you to parties.

Cusscappinyarpzagrutt's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Cusscappinyarpzagrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

5. Never think ill of sick tortoises.