Quamnurtnat is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, smart alligator.

Quamnurtnat created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamnurtnat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quamnurtnat, she will strike you with lightening.

Quamnurtnat's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Quamnurtnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of gulls.

2. Put Quamnurtnat first in all things.

3. Do not kill sheep.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.