Flapjam is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate dingo.

Flapjam created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapjam, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flapjam, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Flapjam's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Flapjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never sing in the presence of rats.