Hothatpad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, egotistical coyote.

Hothatpad created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Hothatpad, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hothatpad, he will turn you into a slug.

Hothatpad's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hothatpad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not take Hothatpad's name in vain.

4. Mice are not to be trusted.

5. Do not stand on grass.