Fonwikditfonmetquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, duplicitous goblin.

Fonwikditfonmetquaf created water four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonwikditfonmetquaf, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fonwikditfonmetquaf, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fonwikditfonmetquaf's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Fonwikditfonmetquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never feed lots of beans to nematodes while wearing green jumpers.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never write about amino acids.