Zimdumxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unthinking shrew.

Zimdumxuck created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zimdumxuck, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zimdumxuck, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zimdumxuck's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Zimdumxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about special relativity.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never mention capybaras.