Gomzoghab Popratjan is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, humorless ant.

Gomzoghab Popratjan created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomzoghab Popratjan, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gomzoghab Popratjan, it will turn you into a hamster.

Gomzoghab Popratjan's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Gomzoghab Popratjan's Holy Commandments

1. Gomzoghab Popratjan loves badgers, so they must be respected.

2. Never hurt horses.

3. Gomzoghab Popratjan loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

4. Never feed onions to snails while wearing yellow shoes.

5. Do not speak about bread.