Febquafbad is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable gorilla.

Febquafbad created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Febquafbad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Febquafbad, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Febquafbad's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Febquafbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never wear green scarves.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not hurt voles.