Kimbif is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered pig.

Kimbif created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kimbif, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kimbif, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kimbif's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Kimbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six goats in a large pit.

2. Always help aardvarks in need.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Do not eat rice.