Jenlistcub is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, amazing human.

Jenlistcub created humanity six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jenlistcub, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jenlistcub, it will turn you into a puffin.

Jenlistcub's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Jenlistcub's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always help hamsters.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Jenlistcub must be the most important thing in your life.