Lak is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unjust seal.

Lak created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lak, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lak, she will curse you with boils.

Lak's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Lak's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must never eat beans.

3. Never sing near ants.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.