Kinjoncap is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless cat.

Kinjoncap created the Large Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kinjoncap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kinjoncap, he will jump up and down on your head.

Kinjoncap's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Kinjoncap's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Kinjoncap on top of important buildings.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never paint your back mauve.