Nadtarpban is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, fast seal.

Nadtarpban created the planet Mars two million years ago.

If you believe in Nadtarpban, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nadtarpban, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nadtarpban's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Nadtarpban's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

2. Never feed strawberries to swans while wearing turquoise rings.

3. Always help foxes in need.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never wear yellow shoes.