Jipfitken is a god.

It takes the form of a small, weak otter.

Jipfitken created a down quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jipfitken, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jipfitken, it will turn you into a snail.

Jipfitken's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Jipfitken's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry whales.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near mites while wearing orange dresses and balancing eight nickel spheres on your back.

3. Do not hurt moths.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.