Gudkinzig is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, thoughtless wolf.

Gudkinzig created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Gudkinzig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gudkinzig, he will turn you into a worm.

Gudkinzig's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Gudkinzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not dye your hair purple.

4. Never mention sharks.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.