Basslarnhat Barnhanpad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, self-confident hydra.

Basslarnhat Barnhanpad created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Basslarnhat Barnhanpad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Basslarnhat Barnhanpad, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Basslarnhat Barnhanpad's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Basslarnhat Barnhanpad's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Basslarnhat Barnhanpad.

2. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

3. Do not take Basslarnhat Barnhanpad's name in vain.

4. Never wear purple ear rings.

5. Never talk about doves.