Kemgundad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair snail.

Kemgundad created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemgundad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kemgundad, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kemgundad's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Kemgundad's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kemgundad.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must pray to Kemgundad three times a day.

4. Never paint your arms indigo.

5. Never feed lots of apples to rats while wearing black trousers.