Hitwig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, caring newt.

Hitwig created the Virgo Supercluster seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitwig, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hitwig, she will send minions to preach to you.

Hitwig's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Hitwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Do not take Hitwig's name in vain.

5. Always wear purple.