Mumgessxem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, idiotic yak.

Mumgessxem created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Mumgessxem, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mumgessxem, he will turn you into a frog.

Mumgessxem's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Mumgessxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never hurt sheep.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. You must never eat rice.