Dobpagfab is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, loving narwhal.

Dobpagfab created water three million years ago.

If you believe in Dobpagfab, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dobpagfab, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dobpagfab's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Dobpagfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Dobpagfab loves mites, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not eat melons.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Hide if three nematodes approach from the west.