Farnwitbell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, wise mole.

Farnwitbell created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnwitbell, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Farnwitbell, he will turn you into a frog.

Farnwitbell's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Farnwitbell's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Do not speak about parsnips.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Farnwitbell.

5. Feed all hungry capybaras.