Cudpakshav is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, ill-tempered human.

Cudpakshav created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cudpakshav, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cudpakshav, she will turn you into a goat.

Cudpakshav's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cudpakshav's Holy Commandments

1. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not speak about turnips.

4. Run away from purple frogs, for they are unholy.

5. Hide if seven doves approach from the west.