Tarpvilbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, strong badger.

Tarpvilbonk created a quark two years ago.

If you believe in Tarpvilbonk, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tarpvilbonk, it will refuse to believe in you.

Tarpvilbonk's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Tarpvilbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always obey Tarpvilbonk's priests.