Veglapjipril is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless turtle.

Veglapjipril created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veglapjipril, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Veglapjipril, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Veglapjipril's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Veglapjipril's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near snakes while wearing green kilts and balancing eight gold spheres on your feet.

2. Always help dogs in need.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never paint your neck mauve.

5. Never look at planets.