Hakhotfid is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, loving manatee.

Hakhotfid created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Hakhotfid, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hakhotfid, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hakhotfid's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Hakhotfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

5. Always take life seriously.