Futstipcibsan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awe-inspiring elephant.

Futstipcibsan created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Futstipcibsan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Futstipcibsan, he will turn you into a slug.

Futstipcibsan's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Futstipcibsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not kill ants.