Narlcebced is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured monkey.

Narlcebced created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlcebced, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Narlcebced, he will send minions to preach to you.

Narlcebced's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Narlcebced's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never feed wheat to badgers while wearing tights.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about porpoises.

5. You must pray to Narlcebced nine times a day.