Gemyatyikweg is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, egotistical wren.

Gemyatyikweg created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Gemyatyikweg, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gemyatyikweg, he will turn you into a worm.

Gemyatyikweg's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gemyatyikweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never laugh in the presence of dogs.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.