Getvonkbif is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, fast porpoise.

Getvonkbif created the Milkyway twelve years ago.

If you believe in Getvonkbif, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Getvonkbif, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Getvonkbif's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Getvonkbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

2. Run away if six snakes approach from the north.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never go into blue rooms.