Fenzaggad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, resourceful centaur.

Fenzaggad created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenzaggad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fenzaggad, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fenzaggad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fenzaggad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never feed rice to bats while wearing shirts.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near moths while wearing blue hats.