Hivsomguphug is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, uncaring rhinoceros.

Hivsomguphug created the Whirlpool Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivsomguphug, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hivsomguphug, she will turn you into a snail.

Hivsomguphug's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Hivsomguphug's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

2. Never wear brown shoes.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Never feed pineapples to goats while wearing mauve shorts.

5. Do not stand on grass.