Ranxem is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witty beaver.

Ranxem created tapeworms two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranxem, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ranxem, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Ranxem's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Ranxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near rats while wearing magenta boots.

2. Hide from turquoise manatees for they are unholy.

3. Never mention otters.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.