Quimmabtadbaphomcussyam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonourable mole.

Quimmabtadbaphomcussyam created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimmabtadbaphomcussyam, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quimmabtadbaphomcussyam, it will curse you with boils.

Quimmabtadbaphomcussyam's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Quimmabtadbaphomcussyam's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never paint your head gray.

4. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

5. Never sing in holy places.