Kadbittom is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, staggering dolphin.

Kadbittom created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadbittom, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kadbittom, he will turn you into a mole.

Kadbittom's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kadbittom's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four ants approach from the west.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Hide if nine sheep approach from the north.

5. Never paint your back fawn.