Yattnatvag is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic snake.

Yattnatvag created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattnatvag, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yattnatvag, she will make you grow a tail.

Yattnatvag's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Yattnatvag's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yattnatvag.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Never feed tomatoes to foxes while wearing shorts.

4. Always obey Yattnatvag's priests.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yattnatvag.