Zenpibbess is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, quiet cow.

Zenpibbess created a Higgs boson three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenpibbess, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zenpibbess, it will be very unhappy.

Zenpibbess' most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Zenpibbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always look after injured frogs.

3. Worship no other gods but Zenpibbess.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never hop near seals.