Kabpogbif Hunkapceb is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, smart donkey.

Kabpogbif Hunkapceb created everything that exists eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabpogbif Hunkapceb, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kabpogbif Hunkapceb, he will turn you into a goat.

Kabpogbif Hunkapceb's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Kabpogbif Hunkapceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always wear white.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near goats while wearing yellow jumpers and balancing four zinc spheres on your arms.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.