Kab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omniscient hedgehog.

Kab created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kab, she will try to impress you with trees.

Kab's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Kab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Kab loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not eat turnips.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near great tits while wearing yellow kilts and balancing five lead spheres on your hands.