Sterdidfarjad is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, blissful spider.

Sterdidfarjad created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterdidfarjad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sterdidfarjad, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Sterdidfarjad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Sterdidfarjad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four aardvarks approach from the south.

2. Do not eat parsnips.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near goats while wearing yellow jumpers and balancing five gold spheres on your neck.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.