Jopcarcap is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, slow fish.

Jopcarcap created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopcarcap, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jopcarcap, she will turn you into a hamster.

Jopcarcap's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Jopcarcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

2. Never talk about gravity near capybaras while wearing white hats.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never feed grapes to goats while wearing green corsets.

5. You must never eat cherries.