Shavquartlak is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, duplicitous hare.

Shavquartlak created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Shavquartlak, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Shavquartlak, it will turn you into a hamster.

Shavquartlak's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Shavquartlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention nematodes.

2. Do not take Shavquartlak's name in vain.

3. Shavquartlak must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

5. Do not shave your arms.