Ganfomjad is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, narcissistic finch.

Ganfomjad created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganfomjad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ganfomjad, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Ganfomjad's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Ganfomjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never wear magenta skirts.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

5. Never play with disobedient children.