Zimbonkbap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, witty gerbil.

Zimbonkbap created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimbonkbap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Zimbonkbap, she will try to impress you with trees.

Zimbonkbap's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Zimbonkbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zimbonkbap.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.