Carpopfar is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, blissful squid.

Carpopfar created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carpopfar, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Carpopfar, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Carpopfar's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Carpopfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.