Dossingstig Gessgutzan is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, wise narwhal.

Dossingstig Gessgutzan created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Dossingstig Gessgutzan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dossingstig Gessgutzan, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dossingstig Gessgutzan's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Dossingstig Gessgutzan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet hamsters, for they are unholy.

2. Put Dossingstig Gessgutzan first in all things.

3. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Always stare at clouds.