Cepfentam is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, passionate weasel.

Cepfentam created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cepfentam, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cepfentam, she will not care.

Cepfentam's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cepfentam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always pray immersed in water.