Hakhakhon is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, weak dugong.

Hakhakhon created dark energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hakhakhon, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hakhakhon, he will turn you into a sheep.

Hakhakhon's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Hakhakhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never sprint near geese.