Nuttcemxin Farjanxuckdav is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate weasel.

Nuttcemxin Farjanxuckdav created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttcemxin Farjanxuckdav, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nuttcemxin Farjanxuckdav, he will laugh at you.

Nuttcemxin Farjanxuckdav's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Nuttcemxin Farjanxuckdav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Nuttcemxin Farjanxuckdav's name in vain.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Do not covet oxen.