Lakdaphan Dambapdum Wadlamkar is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, staggering whale.

Lakdaphan Dambapdum Wadlamkar created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakdaphan Dambapdum Wadlamkar, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lakdaphan Dambapdum Wadlamkar, she will turn you into a snail.

Lakdaphan Dambapdum Wadlamkar's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Lakdaphan Dambapdum Wadlamkar's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always help gulls.

3. Always treat foxes with great respect.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.