Gonstragnul is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, blissful lion.

Gonstragnul created time and space six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonstragnul, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gonstragnul, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gonstragnul's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gonstragnul's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry monkeys.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. You must never eat spinach.

5. You must love Gonstragnul.