Sandquart is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unselfish zebra.

Sandquart created time and space four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandquart, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sandquart, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Sandquart's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Sandquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must love Sandquart.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Sandquart on top of all buildings.

4. Sandquart loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed tomatoes to squirrels while wearing mauve ear rings.