Jipmettim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic dove.

Jipmettim created the Sol system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipmettim, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jipmettim, it will turn you into a rat.

Jipmettim's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Jipmettim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near sharks while wearing yellow tights.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Jipmettim.

5. Never eat bark.